My Life Head On

Saying Goodbye

I stayed in bed with Renegade all day today. He was so comfortable snuggling for several hours then would cough and be restless. All day we rested together. It was so comforting having him there. Tonight though he started coughing and just couldn’t seem to stop. When he finally did get back to breathing normally he had coughed up a small amount of blood. Steve and I decided to take him in to the ER. Renegade struggled to the hallway and didn’t want to go down the stairs. Steve carried him down to the truck and got him settled on his bed.  Of course he then gets super excited for the car ride and trots into the ER like nothing is wrong. Several friends met us at the hospital to sit with us.

We waited in the lobby for about an hour and he only had one small cough. No blood and was so excited to see the other pets there. Once we got into the exam room he just wanted to say hi to the technician and the doctor and snuggle up to them. He was just so much his normal self, but all the energy he was exerting was starting to catch up. The doctor had to bring in a mat for him to stand on because he kept sliding on the floor.

We ran more blood work and compared it to his numbers from Wednesday. In just a few days my bouncing happy boy had taken such a turn. His blood work showed that he was bleeding internally. Even though I knew we were supposed to see the oncologist in just a few hours, I knew his breathing was only going to get worse. While the technicians placed a catheter, my girlfriend and I went to McDonald’s for some ice cream.  I just couldn’t let him go without having a treat. He was so happy as he licked up the ice cream.  I thought of so many times we’d had together. The fun we had shared. The hard times he had gotten me through. He was always there. Always protecting me, always supporting me.

He kissed me so comfortingly as he fell asleep. Laying his lead in my lap. I don’t know what I will do without him.

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